Knowing Who You Are

I am Chase Plowman, the middle child of Jeff and Alyson Plowman. I have an older sister, Chelsy, and a younger brother, Tyler. I am pretty athletic, and played a lot of tennis. I also have the ability to play the piano. I am a quiet, shy, a calm person, and a people-pleaser. I am smart, and get good grades in school. I'm tall, and skinny, and definitely don't belong on the football field. I have my place in the world, and it's where the world has always put me.

At least that's what I have been told my whole life. I have spent my whole life looking for who I am, and a lot of these things that are true about me, but it is not who I am. In High School, I acted very differently than I do now. I had a small group of friends, but I had a big lack of confidence in who I was. I was scared and uncomfortable, feeling inadequate in every way. When away from this group of friends, I struggled to carry on a conversation with others. Then when with this group of friends, I acted hyper and tried to be funny to hide this lack of confidence. I also had a strong desire to please everyone, causing me to get extremely stressed and have anxiety attacks over the impossible nature of that task. 

A change has been brought about in me, one that was found by discovering who I am. Since being on my mission, I have left my comfort zone. I had entered into a world where all I did was talk to people I didn't know, about a Gospel and religion they might not even want. Pleasing everyone and being shy were no longer options. This caused me to have anxiety attacks, and forced me to try and find a solution to the problem.

I talked to my Mission President about it, and he helped me get some professional help. I thought that only crazy people went to counseling, but decided I would give it a try. What I learned during a few short sessions with my counselor, Travis, is knowledge that has changed my life. He helped me learn who I really was. 

I have really found out that I am a child of God. He is my Father in heaven. He loves me, and did not send me on this earth to fail. He gave me all my strengths for a reason, and does not want me to change to conform to the world. He also gave me weaknesses for a reason, so that I may be humble and trust in Him. This is a piece of knowledge that I hope everyone I know can come to find out. Through this knowledge, we learn that it does not matter what others think of you, it only matters what He thinks of you.

So what does He think of you? Or me? Or any of us? He thinks you are worth the investment. Each and everyone one of us have our own worth, and it cannot be changed. In John 3:16 it says "For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son," meaning God sent his Son to die for us because he loved each and every one of us. A quote from C.S. Lewis says "He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, he would have done no less." God knows you personally, and thinks about you personally, just as earthly parents think about and love all their children individually.

I know this to be true. I know that God is our father, and Christ is our brother. Through them and the power of the Atonement we may know who we are, and live in peace and happiness. I now boldly preach the truth to the world, and invite all to come unto it. I have no more anxiety attacks, and live at peace knowing that God is my Heavenly Father and I am his son. This knowledge is the only solution to heartache and pain that we feel in this life.